FREE MUSIC MONDAY - PUIG DESTROYER (THRICE, EX-CURL UP AND DIE, ETC.)

Sometimes you just need a good laugh. Sometimes all you want is an album you play ten times in an hour and still have some time left. Sometimes all you want to listen is a band whose entire existence is dedicated to a rookie baseball player from Cuba and whose name is a play on words involving legendary grind band Pig Destroyer. Okay well maybe not. But if by chance you do, I have the band for you.

Puig Destroyer is exactly that: a band whose entire existence is dedicated to a rookie baseball player from Cuba and whose name is a play on words involving legendary grind band Pig Destroyer. It’s pretty clear that this is light hearted music. But that doesn’t stop it from being ferocious, heavy, and grindy.

The band's second release, "Wait For Spring" is now available for your listening pleasure. On top of this, it's available for a "name your price" download on Bandcamp! Grab it while you can.

Links: Facebook // Bandcamp

DUMBEST STAGE DIVE EVER?

In the wake of recent events at the UK version of Warped Tour, many have dubbed rapper Watsky as having the "dumbest stage dive ever". You can watch it below.

It's probably the worst technique on a stage dive ever (legs first / having a crowd that's more interested in taking pictures than catching you / multiple injuries) but there have been plenty more daring (stupid, if you will) stage dives in the past. This is a quick segment dedicated to them. Watch the flailing bodies below.

This last video is important folks. Never stage dive if a) the crowd doesn't give a fuck or b) there is no crowd. It's something we call common sense.

BEST EMMURE COVERS EVER

If you've managed to miss any of these, here you go...

Links: Facebook // Merch // iTunes

HOW TO DANCE TO MESHUGGAH

Hell, I don't know... but these people are doing it wrong.

Links: Facebook // Twitter // iTunes

METAL PUMPKINS

Links: Facebook // Twitter // iTunes

Links: Facebook // Twitter // iTunes // Official Website

Links: Facebook // Twitter // iTunes

Links: Facebook // Twitter // iTunes

Links: Facebook // Official Website // Twitter // iTunes

IKEA OR DEATH

BEST THING EVER.

Some genius created an online game which pits Ikea products vs Death Metal bands. How does this work, do you ask? The application flashes up names like "Vittsjö", "Akercocke", and "Grundtal" and you have to guess whether they're Death Metal bands or the names of Ikea Products. Hilarious.

Go ahead and play here!

Links: Ikea Or Death // Ikea Official Website

ZAKK WYLDE HALOWEEN COSTUME?

Apparently Black Label Society are getting into the Halloween business. They've released a costume allowing you and the kids to dress up like their lead singer / guitarist Zakk Wylde. The costume is a full getup which even includes an impressive fake beard. Take a look below, jam some tunes, and if you're interested in grabbing the costume, click here.

Links: Facebook // Official Website // iTunes

MOMS ON METAL

Here's something amusing...

It's safe to say when it comes to metal some people just don't get it. Remember the last time you got your mom into a Necrophagist song? Yeah, me neither.

Well the awesome people at The Daily Disruption have assembled a group of mothers to review various metal and hardcore songs. This includes a glowing review of Cannibal Corpse's "Hammer Smashed Face"...

Watch below for a laugh.

Links: Facebook // Official Website // Youtube

TESSERACT "CALABI-YAU" MUSIC VIDEO

There's no doubt that Tesseract released a fine album earlier this year (read our review right here). Through all the struggles that went into creating their sophomore album, they came out on top. Now there's a new video on the loose... WATCH DAT SAX! hehehe...

On a more serious note, we've provided their first "Altered State" music video "Singularity" and the full album stream. Enjoy!

Links: Facebook // Twitter // iTunes // Merch

DEVIN TOWNSEND'S ZILTOID THE OMNISCIENT

"Ziltoid Radio... It's like not getting kicked in the balls"

Ziltoid returns! Hilarious is the only word that cuts it. Devin Townsend just released the first episode of Ziltoid Radio, the chronicles of Devin's alien alter-ego and his ventures. The episode spans an hour of laughs. Tune in below and you'll see what I mean.

Links: Facebook // Twitter // iTunes

MESHUGGAH "BLEED" PIANO COVER

Youtuber jsabbott0 just dropped a piano cover of the infamous rhythmical mountain that is Meshuggah's "Bleed". This version of the song should be called "Hands Bleed". Watch below and you'll see what I mean. Piano slapping at it's finest. Also check his steering wheel cover.

"No solo - maybe I'll give it a shot once my hands have healed." - jsabbott0

Links: jsabbott0 Youtube Channel // Meshuggah Facebook // Twitter // iTunes

PUIG DESTROYER STREAMING NEW ALBUM

Sometimes you just need a good laugh. Sometimes all you want is an album you play ten times in an hour and still have some time left. Sometimes all you want to listen is a band whose entire existence is dedicated to a rookie baseball player from Cuba and whose name is a play on words involving legendary grind band Pig Destroyer. Okay well maybe not. But if by chance you do, I have the band for you.

Puig Destroyer is exactly that: a band whose entire existence is dedicated to a rookie baseball player from Cuba and whose name is a play on words involving legendary grind band Pig Destroyer. With clips from MLB baseball games and song titles like "Stop Fucking Bunting", it’s pretty clear that this is light hearted music. But that doesn’t stop it from being ferocious and heavy. Well it is definitely heavy and grindy, but it doesn’t stick out much from any of the other grind I’ve listened to. Admittedly I only dabble into the realm of grind. I pretty much only listen to the mainstays, including one Pig Destroyer, “Book Burner” was cool and stuff.

Puig Destroyer’s new self titled EP is streaming and available for purchase over at Bandcamp, I’ve linked it below. The Ghost is Clear Records also has this slice of songs available for pre-order on 7” vinyl if you’re into... ya know... vinyl. Puig Destroyer’s success clearly rests upon the strength of their gimmick. The likeness to Pig Destroyer will definitely get some people to click on anything involving them but the baseball gimmick is really what’s important. I hear you metal fans: “But baseball is boring, it takes 17 minutes for anything to happen and even then it’s still boring.” And I say to you, it takes 17 minutes for SunnO))) to do anything and you love them! And if you don’t you’re wrong. Sorry. But seriously, what happens if Yasiel Puig sucks next year, guess Puig Destroyer needs a new gimmick.

-Trisolino

Links: Facebook // Bandcamp

99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL

The newest and most ridiculous collaboration I’ve read about in a very, very long time just surfaced. Cattle Decapitation bassist Derek Engemann and Fulgora bassist John Jarvis have announced that they will be completing their own version of the famous tune, “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall”. This is a hilarious idea, but it’s so awesome that I can’t help but laugh out loud, seriously.

The best part of this is that the song will feature 99 guest musicians from basically the hall of fame of death and grind. A musician, or maybe more from each of the following bands has been confirmed as participating on the song: Cannibal Corpse, Dying Fetus, Suffocation, Devourment, Misery Index, Fulgora, Cattle Decapitation, Cryptopsy, Cerebral Bore, Decrepit Birth, Unmerciful, Putrid Pile, Insidious Decrepancy, Cephalic Carnage, and Murder Construct. And that’s just a partial list. Overall, members from 99 bands will appear on this tune. Talk about crazy!

If you wanna get your hands on this song, and I know you do, it should be available at the end of the summer. The guys have been compiling tracks for a while and need to put the fully furnished song together. The intention is to release the song as a bonus track on the new Houndz EP, titled “Boozehoundz.” This band is Derek Engemann’s, from Cattle Decapitation, side project, that seems to be as hilarious as this new song idea, so it’s a perfect fit. Check out Houndz new comedic video below if you’re interested and stay tuned for more details on this massive collaboration.

-Trisolino

Links: Cattle Decapitation Facebook // Fulgora Facebook // Houndz Youtube

SURGICALLY IMPLANTED HEADPHONES?

Ohhh yes. In a world where sightless hearing aids have come into existence the next logical step must be sightless headphones. But wait... let's make it 10x more brutal... Surgically implanted headphones! Sounds like a Death Metal song.. sort of.

Metal Injection recently bolstered the story of how one legendary man, Rich Lee, broke down boundaries and had headphones surgically implanted in his ears. Gizmodo explains how it works down below. The man Rich himself also made a tutorial on how to make the magic happen.
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To keep the implant almost completely imperceptible, audio signals are transmitted via a coil Lee wears around his neck—based on this Instructable—that creates a magnetic field causing the implant to vibrate and produce sound. Audio quality is certainly nowhere near close to what you'd get from headphones or an actual pair of earbuds, but Lee's approach has a lot of distinct advantages.

In addition to listening to music whenever and wherever he wants, Lee also has plans to hook the wireless system up to various sensors like ultrasonic rangefinders, thermometers, and even geiger counters, giving him the ability to hear distances like a bat, or sense how hot something is without touching it.
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Banner credit to Produksies.

Links: Metal Injection // Gizmodo // Tutorial

WHITECHAPEL VS WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH

In the past there have been several confrontations between the metal community and the idiots known as the Westboro Baptist Church. From picketing the funerals of metal idols to making inane criticisms of our lifestyle, they've officially labeled themselves as enemies of metal (aka not a good place to be). In addition, they've labeled themselves as enemies of just about anything good in this world. I could rant but I will not.

Instead I will point you in the direction of the latest conflict between metal and utter religious stupidity. Whitechapel's vocalist Phil Bozeman was pulled into a clash with WBC recently via Attila's Fronz guy. The exchange was deftly covered by the legends at The PRP and is good for a laugh or two. Read up here and headbang below \m/

Links: Facebook // Twitter // Official Website // iTunes

FREE MUSIC MONDAY - PUIG DESTROYER

Not to be confused with Pig Destroyer... Oh, wait.

This might be one of the funniest things I've stumbled across in the metal world lately. Baseball-themed grindcore. Go ahead and read that again.

Puig Destroyer currently has a 5 song debut headed for home base. So far, they've released a single "One Man, Five Tools" which is actually available for FREE download. Score! Listen below and download on Bandcamp.

Links: Facebook // Bandcamp

MOSHING ILLEGAL?

Breaking the law! Breaking the law!

The internet is such a wonderful and stupid place. This informational gateway is a hotspot where laughs are had, pranks get pulled, and rumors get out of control.

Most recently, the rumor mill has declared that moshing is now illegal. Of course this has caused confusion among members of the heavy music community. This claim is most definitely not true. There is literally no credible source backing this statement. The Supreme Court is not involved. The end.

Supposedly a twelve-year-old girl walked into a Bring Me The Horizon mosh pit and got mauled so her parents are suing. Yet again, no official reports here. And if there is any truth to this, the parents are at fault. Parenting 101: It's dumb as fuck to let a child go unattended at a concert, especially when there are mosh pits involved.

Hope that helps. MOSH ON!

Check the moshing art of Dan Witz in the banner above and the moshing in the videos below.

CLARINET DEATH METAL

Totally heavy. Totally brutal. Totally face plow. Totally clarinet? That’s right…clarinet death metal. Had to bring it back. Caleb is deserving of mad props for his woodwind skills. Here, our specimen is seen performing renditions of Necrophagist, Decapitated and Cannibal Corpse!

- Tyler Dermitt

Links: Youtube

METALOCALYPSE: THE DOOM STAR REQUIEM - DETHKLOK RETURNS!

If you ams metal, this one for you. If you ams not metal, you ams dildos.

Easily the funniest metal show of all time, Metalocalypse, left fans with one helluva cliffhanger at the end of Season 4. And to makes things worse, the chances of a new season were looking bleaker with every passing month. Rumors even circulated that the show was cancelled at a point to the dismay of many. Rumors ams dildos. But in some ways the rumors may be true. There might not be another season of Metalocalypse...

But Dethklok will return with a one hour METAL OPERA special, "Metalocalypse: The Doom Star Requiem". Say whaaaa? I doubt anyone saw that coming besides Adult Swim and creator Brendan Small himself. It makes total sense though considering Metalocalypse is a music (metal \m/) based show. And on top of this, who can say no to a solid hour of original, new Dethklok music? They might literally kill you if you did. You can read the official Adult Swim statement on the return of Metalocalypse below. You can also check some hilarious moments from the series. Enjoy!

"In Metalocalypse: The Doom Star Requiem, we pick up directly after the abduction of Dethklok guitarist Toki Wartooth in the season 4 finale. With his life in danger his only salvation can come from the four most selfish human celebrities on earth—his bandmates, extreme metal band DETHKLOK. Will they be able to get past their own egos to help someone besides themselves? Find out in this one-hour heavy metal rock opera special with a completely original score. Created by Brendon Small, Metalocalypse: The Doom Star Requiem airs in October. Animated one-hour special."

Links: Facebook // Adult Swim

BEST LAUGHS

If you don't follow us on Facebook, this is why you should be. We post funny stuff daily. These are the most popular laughs of the past couple weeks.